El Canto de la Sirena || The Siren's Song

Back from the Dead

2007-04-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

WAZZUUPPPP!!!!

So, after 3 and a half months, here I am. Thanks to the mighty Meech for provding incentive to blog again.

What's been going on? Let me recap. No, that would take too long. Let me summarize.

Work: Moved into a new position, which I love. Lots less stress, learning new things every day, and a better schedule for the same pay.

Work #2: I'm back teaching a once a week, evening class. Often fun, but it reduces my time really off to nil.

Diss: Had to apply for another extension, because my advisor couldn't get to it until last week. Met him in NYC to discuss it, and it's apparent that I'm not anywhere near done. He wants (deservedly, I admit) some major restructuring. Aiming to have this done done by May 08. =(

Home: Things are good, although it's been a little crazy. The honey also moved into a new position and a new store. Not entirely sure if he likes it, yet. Went on vacation to NYC, had a great time. Then the day after we came back from vacation he got really sick and had to be taken to the hospital. On the same day, his grandmother died. Wasn't able to go to the funeral, because he was still recuperating. Thankfully, he's better now and everything worked out OK.

Friends: Got some new ones, still hanging out with the old ones, miss the oldest ones a lot. So, about the same. =)

What's going on with you?

Why I haven't posted

2007-01-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

There it is. All 387 pages. OK, it's not the final thing, it's the "fair copy" which needs to be approved by my committee and revised at least once before it becomes a "final copy" before my defense. But after months of doing practically nothing but working at my job and working on this, I can finally have some of my life back...
Now if my advisor can just look at it soon...

Sick... again

2006-11-07T22:47:00.000-05:00

But, on the bright side, you can click above to see my pictures from Mexico...

Desde el avion, el domingo en la noche

2006-10-30T22:53:00.000-05:00

Reporte de vacaciones

Voy de regreso a casa después de pasar unas muy merecidas (si me lo permiten) vacaciones en México. Aunque fueron más bien cortas, fueron muy agradables. Los momentos más destacados:
1) La mañana del sábado 21, que pasé en el centro con Yuri, y donde fuimos a ver la impresionante exposición de World Press Photo 2006. Se las recomiendo mucho, pero traigan un pañuelito porque hace llorar.
2) La noche del 21, fuí al baby shower para Flor (bueno, para su hijo que ya va a nacer en unas 7 semanas más o menos). Qué impresionante es, primero, ver a Flor con 7 meses de embarazo, y depués, pensar en todas esas fiestas de secundaria que hicimos en esa misma casa hace no pareciera tantos años... y henos aquí ahora, casados y (unos) con hijos!
3) El domingo 22 fuí con Mario a casa de los papás de Raúl, y de paso conocí (por fin) a Itzel, que ya tiene nueve meses. Ojalá que se le cumpla al señor Raúl su deseo de que pronto yo también tenga uno para que Itzel tenga con quién jugar. (Y por "pronto" quiero decir en los próximos 2 años... aunque esa es otra historia!)
4) También el domingo fuí con Amós al cine y vimos El Laberinto del Fauno, que está buenísima... quién dice que en el cine hispanohablante no se puede hacer fantasía (aunque más bien es realismo mágico) de calidad... también se las recomiendo mucho.
5) El lunes 23 fuí a comer al Café de Tacuba con Judith (del Nuevo Contiente).
6) El martes 24 fuí con Yuri a casa de Raúl y Vero, ordenamos pizzas, tomamos chelas, y jugamos al Xbox. Es agradable después de tantos años el tener por fin gente con casa propia (bueno, donde no haya papás, pues) en donde ir a relajarse. Lo malo...
7) fué que las pizzas o algo no me cayeron bien porque pasé el miércoles y el jueves enferma del estómago en mi casa. =( Ni siquiera pude celebrar el cumpleaños de Mario (bueno, por lo menos le hablé por teléfono... otra vez felicidades!)
8) El viernes 27 ya me sentí mejor y pude salir en la noche, fuí con Yuri y un amigo suyo a la cineteca y vimos Volver, de Almodóvar... definitivamente mi favorita de las suyas, aunque con un final algo abrupto. Tambien va recomendada. De ahí nos fuimos al HIjo del Cuervo, que no por ser viejito (bueno, de edad media, como nosotros) deja de estar lleno los fines de semana. Otro lugar con muchos recuerdos...
9) El sábado volví a comer con Judith y nos fuimos de shopping por unas artesanías, ya saben, para regalar. Por ahí pude disfrutar de unos churros de San Angel, me engalané con las flores del mercado, y luego pasé a ver todo lo que venden para Halloween/Día de Muertos. Compré entre otras cosas unas calaveras de chocolate para repartir en el trabajo; a ver si no se les hace algo morboso...
10) Hoy en la mañana desayuné con Yuri, fuí al mercado sobre ruedas, y luego (ni modo!) al aeropuerto por la enésima vez para el viaje de regreso.
En conclusión: vi a bastante gente, pasé un tiempo con mi mamá, salí casi todos los días, me recuperé de la enfermedad del alma que es la nostalgia, y en general me la pasé excelente. Ahora de regreso al trabajo, a la tesis (que hay que terminar en nueve semanas!!!) y al marido hermoso a quien extrañé un montón...

I am...

2006-10-14T23:12:00.000-05:00

totally, wholly, completely BURNT OUT. I need a new job. I need a dissertation-free life. I need a vacation.

Oh, wait.

I AM getting a vacation. Starting Thursday. Going home to Mexico. Can't wait!

God is a grad student, and other depressing thoughts

2006-08-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

So this is the conversation I have with my husband:
What if, God is getting a PhD in Chaos Theory, or Universe Management, or something, and this (the universe, us, everything) is his experiment, and he just set it up and is watching what happens but with no will to intervene?

The worst part of that, says my honey, is that when he's done we'll have to call him "Dr. God"

As for my own dissertation project...
Steady into the second chapter, but running about 6 weeks behind schedule. Hope I am able to catch up!

Elecciones

2006-07-09T23:43:00.000-05:00

Tengo toda la intención de escribir un editorial largo, inteligente, y bien pensado sobre las eleciones mexicanas y lo que vaya o no vaya a salir de ellas. Pero no he tenido oportunidad...
Por lo pronto, hay que rezar porque todos los afectados mantengan la calma y se comporten con responsabilidad, dignidad y madurez política.

Dissertation, week 11

2006-07-09T23:37:00.000-05:00

So, I'm halfway through Chapter 1, have received comments on the intro from one of my readers, have worked close to 100 hours on it since April, an average of 9 hours a week. Much better than the 2-3 hours I was doing before.
That's the good news.
The bad news: I'm running about a month behind from the original schedule, should have Chapter 1 done by now, need to be working close to 30 hours a week just to catch up, and have very little in my life right now outside of work, dissertation, and an occasional evening with the honey (hence why I haven't posted here for a while).
Please bear with me in the next few months... I will need to have friends left when I come out on the other side!

For honey: Life without you

2006-04-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

This silence that surrounds me
feels like death
it is the measure of your absence
the bell of loneliness that tolls
the empty house, holding its breath
the tide of life that washes all away
but leaves behind these shells
your socks, your shoes
the everyday debris of this, our shared existence

Across the miles, I wonder if you wonder
if your heart can feel the wandering of my thoughts
my heart, anchoring body
ship that would sail away from home
to find no shore

But now your mistress is so loud
and you can’t hear me

This is my life without you
the silence I escaped
which only you can shatter

It calls and I resist

I wait to rest my head against your heart
and there, at last
be home

Mastercard commercial

2006-04-30T11:02:00.000-05:00

Friday:
4 hours of pool and 3 rounds of drinks: $51
Late-night, fast-food dinner: $11
Saturday:
Dinner at over-priced Mexican restaurant: $40
After-dinner hot drinks at coffee shop: $6

Spending the weekend with friends instead of at home by myself: PRICELESS

Dissertation, week 1

2006-04-30T10:56:00.000-05:00

So, I didn't get any fellowships for next year. I was pretty crushed for a while, feeling stuck again in this marsh of financial responsibility that bogs me down from doing the things I want and need to do.
Then, I snapped out of it.
I will not quit my job, because I can't afford to. But I WILL finish the dissertation on time, damn it. I will work after work, work on my days off, work on my lunch break, work on holidays and special occasions, work instead of watching TV, work until I can't work anymore, and then work some more, and I WILL GET THIS DONE. And the people that could have helped me but didn't can just kiss my butt.
This was week 1 and I worked 15 hours, which was my goal. Hope to do the same if not more this coming week!

If you're going to San Francisco...

2006-04-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

You won't see me there... didn't get the fellowship. *sigh*. Only application I still have out there is for my department's dissertation year fellowship, but there is little hope that I will get that. My department has not thought me worthy of a single award in 8 years...
Goodbye to finishing the diss any time soon!

Poem

2006-04-16T22:42:00.000-05:00

In honor of National Poetry Month, and of my friend Jon, who drove us to work on Saturday in a convertible BMW.

Bright Memory Drive
Wind rushing hair
flying trees sweeping past
road bending left
right
left tires hug curves
sun peeks out of clouds
other cars stare
enviously
you pointed out the house
you’d like to buy
someday
we stopped
the top came out
you said my hair looked fine

Ride back dusk
falling on our shoulders
road curving right
left
right you broke for rabbits
air cooled seats
warmed by electricity
you left to change
out for the night to come
I stepped unto the silence
empty home
ordered pizza called mom fell
asleep

Manliness, symphonies, and Brokeback Mountain

2006-04-16T22:41:00.000-05:00

Really interesting article... read and comment!

Death and Taxes

2006-04-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

I hate taxes.
I hate money.
I hate banks, bankers, interest rates, credit cards, bills, bill collectors, and automated phone trees.
Just so you all know.

I left my heart in San Francisco

2006-04-06T21:28:00.000-05:00

Or at least, my hope... Went there on Sunday for a Monday interview. The interview went really well I thought, I will find out next week whether or not I got it. If I do, it will mean my career is finally taking off to where I really want to be. If I don't... well, at least we won't have to move!

German Requiem

2006-03-26T11:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got on stage for the first time in 8 months and sang Brahms' German Requiem with the National Philharmonic Chorale. If you have never heard the German Requiem, I recommend this recording with the Atlanta Symphony and Robert Shaw conducting. The work has some really beautiful moments, although I always find that Brahms doesn't get to me emotionally as much as Mozart or Bach.
Anyway, it was great to be singing with a world-class group of musicians again. Hope to keep it up!

My idiot friends

2006-03-26T11:29:00.000-05:00

Friend #1: who was supposed to go to lunch with me on Thursday and brought his idiot friend along
Friend #2: who was supposed to have dinner with me on Friday and stood me up; he says he couldn't call because he lost his cellphone
Friend #3: who finally returned my call (from three weeks ago) yesterday
Friend #4: who didn't go to my performance last night because he lost his ticket

My not so idiot friends:
Friend #5: who called from Mexico on Friday and left a voicemail saying that I'm one of the lights in his life
Friend #6: who dragged her boyfriend to my performance last night
Friend #7: who brought flowers to my performance and took me out to dinner afterwards (OK, so he's my husband too, but it counts)

Sad thing is, I love them all... even the idiots.

Guys: Why you should never bring your best friend with you...

2006-03-23T19:00:00.000-05:00

when you are going to lunch with a girl: because when he talks the entire time about himself and all the people at work that he dislikes, the girl (ie. me) is going to end up thanking the universe that she doesn't date you, because then she would have to put up with his annoying ass ALL THE TIME...

Lo nuevo y lo viejo

2006-03-19T00:19:00.000-05:00

Nuevo:
1) Fuí a un congreso en Nashville a presentar un trabajo que es parte de la tesis. Aunque me fué bien, el congreso mismo fué una decepción; muy pocos trabajos estimulantes.
2) Nos fuimos de vacaciones a México por 10 días y nos la pasamos excelentemente. Con decir que los dos andábamos llorando cuando veníamos de regreso.
3) Mientras estábamos en México me llegó una invitación para ir a una entrevista en San Francisco. Sería para una de las becas de investigación que había mencionado. Si se diera, me pagarían más de lo que gano en la chamba de ahorita, daría una clase cada semestre, y el resto del tiempo terminaría la tesis. Deditos cruzados...
4) Tengo un carro nuevo (2006). Lo compramos a principios de febrero porque el otro ya iba en decline. Es como éste pero negro: http://images.securedwebform.com/stock/300/saturn/ion/2006/4sa.jpg
5) Pude ver a algunos de mis amigos pero otros ya viven fuera de México o estaban fuera. =(
Viejo:
1) De regreso al trabajo, me encuentro con mucho aburrimiento. Si no funciona lo de San Franciso tal vez me convendría encontrar un trabajo nuevo, si puedo. Pero con eso de que las finanzas empeoran en vez de mejorar, lo mejor sería estar agradecida de que haya trabajo del que sea...
2) Después del congreso no he hecho mucho con la tesis. Hay que encontrar las energías para retomarla...
3) En vez de bajar de peso, engordé... aunque en México todos me vieron más delgada, vaya usté a saber...
4) Desde que regresamos de México no nos hemos visto mi esposo y yo. Es que los horarios del trabajo no son compatibles para nada...

En resumen: muchas cosas buenas y otras no tanto, pero en general bien. !!!Hablen o escriban!!!

New:
1) I went to a conference in Nashville to present a paper that is part of my dissertation. Although it went well, the conference itself was a dissappointment; very few stimulating papers.
2) We went on vacation to Mexico for 10 days and we had an excellent time. To the point that both of us were crying when we were coming back.
3) While we were in Mexico an invitation arrived for me to go to an interview in San Francisco. It would be for one of the dissertaion fellowships I mentioned in my previous post. If it happens, they would pay me more than what I make in my current job, I woudl teach a class each semester, and the rest of the time I would finish the diss. Fingers crossed...
4) I have a new car (2006). We bought it at the beginning of February because the other one was getting old and crappy. It is like this one but black: http://images.securedwebform.com/stock/300/saturn/ion/2006/4sa.jpg
5) I was able to see some of my friends but others live outsideof Mexico or were out of town = (
Old:
1) Back on the job, I find myself bored a lot. If the thing in San Franciso does not pan out perhaps it would be best to find myself a new job, if I can. But what with the finances getting worse instead of better, the best thing may be to just be grateful that there is any job at all...
2) After the conference I have not done much with the dissertation. I have got to find the energy to go back to it...
3) Instead of losing weight, I gained weight... although in Mexico all they saw me thinner, figures...
4) Since we returned from Mexico my honey and I have not seen each other. It's just that the work schedules are not compatible at all...
In summary: many good things and others not so much, but in general doing well. Call or write!!!

Año Nuevo

2006-01-15T23:16:00.000-05:00

Supongo que ya se habrán acostumbrado a mi falta de comunicación, así que dejaremos las disculpas de lado y al grano.
Propósitos de año nuevo:
1) Cantar más (y por ende, mejor). Por el momento vamos bien: el martes pasado fuí a una audición y aunque no estaba en mi mejor forma entré al coro al que estaba audicionando. Por lo menos tendré un día fijo a la semana para cantar. También mandé solicitud para unas audiciones que van a ser en febrero para un programa de verano. Ya veremos que tal sale, la cosa es hacerle la lucha, no?
2) Bajar de peso y hacer ejercicio. Eso no ha prosperado todavía; por ejemplo hoy pasé mi día de descanso sentada o frente a la computadora o frente a la tele. Pero tengo una firme determinación de hacer ejercicio de algún tipo mañana...
3) La tesis. El año pasado tenía propuesto trabajar un promedio de 7 horas a la semana. Sumé los minutos anotados en mi bitácora y... bueno, no fueron 7, pero fueron como 3, que ya es mucho más de lo que trabajé en el 2004. Lo más importante es que no pasé practicamente ninguna semana sin avanzar aunque sea un poquito. En términos concretos, terminé 2 capítulos y medio (claro que después de la revisión viene a ser un poco menos, pero ya es ganancia). La meta de este año: tener borrador completo y, todavía mejor, poder terminar para junio del 2007. Para eso he estado mandando solicitudes para becas de investigación para el ciclo escolar 2006-2007. De obtener una, podría dejar mi trabajo y dedicarme 100% a terminar la tesis. A ver qué pasa...
4) Pasar más tiempo con mi esposo y con mis amigos. Lo bueno es que una vez que nos cambiamos de casa y dejé de manejar 6 horas diarias esto se volvió mucho más posible. De hecho he salido bastante con amigos, y como tenemos varios que viven cerquita de la casa, nuestra vida social a mejorado muchísimo. Todavía nos pasamos demasiado tiempo en la computadora, pero en fin... En cuanto a los amigos de México, estoy planeando poder ir en febrero, aunque no podré ir por tantos días como había pensado en un principio. Ya me dijo mi jefa que no puedo irme más de una semana. =( Ya ven por qué necesito salirme de este trabajo? Pero esa es otra historia. Lo bueno es que próximamente voy a tener una manera de comunicarme con ustedes (estén atentos, que es sorpresa... ya pronto les diré como).
5) Poner en orden mis finanzas. Por eso es que sigo trabajando, con todo y todo. Hay que pagar esas tarjetas de crédito...

Y ya, los mismos propósitos de siempre. Por lo menos mis prioridades siguen siendo las mismas. Y tú, qué propósitos has hecho???

New Year
I suppose you all are already used to my lack of communication, so we will leave apologies aside and get to to the point. New Year's Resolutions: 1) To sing more (and therefore, better). At the moment we are doing well: I had an audition last Tuesday and although I was not in my best shape I got into the choir I was auditioning for. At least I will have a fixed day to the week to sing. Also I sent a request for a February audition for a summer program. We shall see how that goes, the main thing is to keep at it, right? 2) To lose weight and exercise. That has still not prospered; for example today I spent my day off sitting in front of either the computer or the TV. But I am firmly determined to do exercise of some sort tomorrow... 3) The dissertation. Last year I made a resolution to work an average of 7 hours per week. I added the minutes written down on my log and... well, it wasn't 7, but it was like 3, and that is already much more than I worked in 2004. Most importantly, I practically didn't let a week go by when I didn't advance even if it was just a little. In concrete terms, I finished 2 and a half chapters (of course, after revisions it comes out to a little less than that, but already there's improvement). The goal for this year: to have a complete rough draft and, better yet, to be able to finish by May of 2007. For that purpose I have been sending applications to fellowships for school year 2006-2007. If I get one, I could quit my job and dedicate myself 100% to finishing the thesis. We'll see what happens... 4) To spend more time with honey and with my friends. The good thing is that once we moved and I stopped driving 6 hours a day this became much more possible. In fact I have gone out with friends quite a bit, and as we have several who live close by, our social life has improved a lot. Still we spend too much time on the computer, but oh well... As for friends in Mexico, I am planning to go sometime in February, although I will not be able to go as many days as I had thought at first. My boss has already said that I cannot go much more than one week. = ( You see why I need to quit this job? But that is another history. The good thing is that soon I am going to have a new way of communicating with you (watch out, it's a surprise... soon I will let you know how). 5) To put my finances in order. That's why I am still at my job, in spite of all. We have to pay those credit cards... And that's it, same resolutions as always. At least my priorities continue being the same. And you, what resolutions you have made?

Rituales de iniciacion y otras ideas desconectadas

2005-12-11T01:03:00.000-05:00

¿Qué se hace cuando un amigo cercano avisa que se casa en 30 horas? Mover cielo, mar y tierra para poder estar ahí. De modo que aquí estuve y valió la pena, aunque definitivamente el sentimiento es agridulce.

Señales de que uno se está haciendo viejo: la mayoría de l@s amig@s tienen novi@s serios, o están casados y/o tienen hijos.

Al contrario de lo que nos digan las películas, la inocencia de la niñez no se pierde toda de golpe en un momento dramático, sino que se escapa a gotas aquí y allá.
Las gotas de estos últimos días:
- Ver a un amigo de la adolescencia casarse con la futura madre de su hija.
- Ayudar al dicho amigo a sacar sus últimas cosas de la casa de sus papás.
- Reconocer que la posición que me había forjado con mis amigos ("tú no eres mujer, eres la gorda") se vuelve, con el tiempo, cada vez más difícil de mantener; esto se sabe cuando las novias y las esposas la miran a una con desconfianza.

Pensamiento egoísta del día: Mi único deseo es que cada uno de mis amigos encuentre a una mujer (o a un hombre, en su caso) que los haga tan felices como yo sé que merecen ser, ya que sé que yo no soy la que puede hacerlo.

Rites of passage and other disjoint ideas
What do you do when a close friend tells you that they are getting married in 30 hours? You move heaven and earth to be able to be there. Therefore I was here and it was worth the trouble, although definitively the feeling is bittersweet.

Signs that you're getting old: most of your friends are in serious relationships, or are married and/or have children.

In spite of what they might say in the movies, the innocence of childhood is not lost all at once in a single dramatic moment, but rather it leaks out here and there in drops. The drops of these last few days:
- Seeing a friend from adolescence get married to the future mother of his daughter.
- Helping said friend take the last few things from his parents' house.
- Realizing that the position I have forged with my friends ("you are not a girl, you are the gorda") is becoming, with time, more and more difficult to maintain; one knows this when their girlfriends and wives start looking at you with distrust.

Selfish thought of the day: My only wish is that each one of my friends finds a woman (or a man, in some cases) who makes them as happy as I know they deserve to be, since I know that I am not the one who can do it.

Cosas que sé ahora que quisiera haber sabido hace 15 años

2005-11-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

1) Las emociones de una mujer son 90% hormonales, y por ende hay que aprender a no actuar nomás por ellas.
2) Tengo una adicción a desear cosas imposibles, y como todas las adicciones, ésta se cura a fuerza de voluntad.
3) Los hombres son seres simples, aunque a las mujeres nos guste imaginarlos complicados.
4) El sexo no es tan peligroso como dice la gente, pero tampoco hace falta tenerlo cada vez que se presente la oportunidad.
5) El amor y la atracción no son lo mismo; la atracción disminuye con la distancia, mientras que el amor aumenta.
6) Las personas más atractivas son las que tiene confianza en sí mismas; la auto-destrucción no es un afrodisiaco.
7) Hay cosas que es mejor dejar sin decirse.
8) Los hombres y las mujeres hablan idiomas distintos. Hay que aprender a pensar como el sexo opuesto, aunque la comprensión completa sea imposible.
9) Perder el control enfrente de otra persona, ser vulnerable, y aún así estar a salvo, es lo que significa la verdadera intimidad.
10) Nadie puede llenar mi necesidad de ser amada, más que yo misma.

Things I know now that I wish I had known 15 years ago:
1) A woman's emotions are 90% hormonal, therefore one must learn not to act on them alone.
2) I am addicted to wanting impossible things, and like every addiction, this one can be cured through willpower.
3) Men are simple beings, even if women like to imagine they are complicated.
4) Sex is not as dangerous as people say, but you don't have to have it at every opportunity.
5) Love and attraction are not the same: attraction fades with distance, whereas love strengthens.
6) The most attractive people are those who are self-confident; self-destructiveness is not a turn-on.
7) Some things are better left unsaid.
8) Men and women speak different languages. One must learn to think like the opposite sex, even if complete understanding is impossible.
9) To lose control in front of someone, to be vulnerable, and still be safe, is what true intimacy is all about.
10) No one can fulfill my need to be loved but myself.

No estaba muerta...

2005-11-07T18:58:00.000-05:00

...aunque sí enferma de bronquitis, tengo dos semanas que la tos no me deja dormir, y entre eso y el trabajo y todo lo demás, pues no había tenido tiempo de escribir. Pero ya aquí estamos...
Resumiendo los eventos mas importantes del último mes:
1) La última semana de octubre regresé a dar otra clase en la universidad de mi amiga, y me fué incluso mejor que la primera vez.
2) Toda esa semana se quedó en mi casa una amiga del doctorado, y me dió mucho gusto verla.
3) Ese fin de semana llegó otra compañera del doctorado, porque...
4) El congreso de la asociación de nuestra profesión fué ese fin de semana, y yo les ofrecí que se quedaran conmigo para que no pagaran hotel. Fuí yo también el sábado al congreso. Lo que por una parte, fué bueno, pero por otra, me recordó todas las cosas que NO me gustan de me profesión.
5) Durante el congreso tuve una cita con mi director de tesis, a quien no había visto en persona desde hace tres años. Por una parte, me dió gusto verlo, es una persona muy inteligente y muy amable y realmente me ayudó a refinar mis ideas. Por otra parte, me sugirió recortar mi tema, lo cual me causó una gran crisis existencial. Probablemente por eso me enfermé...
6) Ese mismo sábado celebramos el cumpleaños de mi esposo (pobrecito, siempre tan paciente conmigo, su cumpleaños en realidad fué el jueves, pero se esperó para que lo celebráramos porque yo tenía treinta mil cosas esa semana). No hicimos gran cosa, pero por lo menos nos vimos.
7) La siguiente semana (o sea, la semana pasada) me la pasé tratando de seguir yendo al trabajo, revisando mi proyecto de tesis y aparte batallando con la tos. Pues claro que el miércoles de plano no pude más y me tuve que quedar en mi casa. El jueves fuí al doctor y me dió unos antibióticos que apenas en los dos últimos días realmente me han hecho efecto.
8) El jueves en la noche llegaron mi suegra, su novio, y su perro de visita. Salimos a cenar el viernes y el sábado, y se fueron el domingo.

Conclusión: he tenido tres semanas muy agitadas... extraño mucho México, no he visto a mi esposo tanto como quisiera, no he avanzado en mi tesis tanto como debería, y mi salud ha dejado mucho que desear. Pero por el lado positivo, por primera vez en dos o tres años siento que tenemos una vida social, y aunque mi vida profesional no está en donde me gustaría, por lo menos avanza.
Poquito a poquito...

I'm alive! although sick with bronchitis, it's been two weeks that the cough hasn't let me sleep, and between that and work and everything else, I hadn't had time to write. But we're back now... To summarize the important events of the last month: 1) the last week of October I went back to give another lecture at my friend's college, and it went even better than the first time. 2) All that week a friend from grad school stayed in my house, and it was really nice to see her. 3) That weekend another girl from grad school came in, because... 4) the conference of our professional society was that weekend, and I offered them my house so that they wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. I also went to the conference on Saturday. Which was good, on one hand, but on the other, it reminded me of all the things I do not like about my profession. 5) During the conference I had an appointment with my dissertation advisor, whom I hadn't seen in person in three years. On the one hand, it was pleasant to see him, he is very intelligent and very nice and really helped me refine my ideas. On the other hand, he suggested I should cut down my topic, which caused me a big existential crisis. Probably that's why I got sick... 6) That same Saturday we celebrated the birthday of my husband (the poor thing, always so patient with me, his birthday was in fact on Thursday, but he waited for us to celebrate because I had thirty thousand things going on that week). We didn't do much of anythign, but at least we got to see each other. 7) The following week (that is, last week) went by with me desperately trying to go to work, revise my dissertation and fight the cough all at the same time. Obviously by Wednesday I just couldn't do it anymore and I had to call in sick. I went on Thursday to the doctor and she gave me some antibiotics that have really only made an impact in the last two days. 8) Thursday night my mother-in-law, her boyfriend, and their dog arrived for a visit. We went out for dinner Friday and Saturday, and they left Sunday. Conclusion: I have had three very busy weeks... I miss Mexico a lot, I have not seen my husband as much as I would like to, I have not made as much progress on the dissertation as I should have, and my health has left much to be desired. But on the positive side, for the first time in two or three years I feel like we have a social life, and although my professional life is not where I would like, at least it's advancing. Baby steps...

Epifania diaria

2005-10-18T17:53:00.000-05:00

Recordar que, por muy guapos que sean otros chavos, mi esposo es la única persona con quien puedo pasar más de 8 horas seguidas sin fastidiarme...

Daily realization: remembering that, no matter how cute other guys may be, my husband is the only person with whom I am able to spend more than 8 hours in a row without getting annoyed...

Beautiful and not-so-beautiful moments

2005-10-06T19:31:00.000-05:00

Not-so-beautiful:
1) 2 hour drive to work because of traffic (didn't I move to avoid this???)
2) Being late to work
3) Realizing that my finances are still f****d up, so I can't get voice lessons yet

Beautiful:
1) 2-hour drive through fields and changing leaves to...
2) ... guest lecture at Top-40 Liberal Arts College, where one of my friends invited me to teach one of her classes for a day
3) Remembering that I love to teach, and feeling like I might even be good at it
4) Coming home to honey to watch last night's LOST (we taped it)

Pretty full day, eh?

Beautiful Moment yesterday

2005-09-29T05:40:00.000-05:00

Standing around at work eating ice cream that one of my cute coworkers got for a bunch of us... it's the simple things!

Beautiful Moment

2005-09-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

At work:
Me: "Do you ever get this paranoid feeling that nobody loves you?"
Friend: "Sure. All the time. Do you mean here or in general?"
Me: "In general."
Friend: "Well, I love you, so you don't have to worry about that."
Me: ".... Thanks!" *smile*

Love doesn't always have to be romantic or sexual. People in other parts of the world understand this.

If you love someone, tell them!!! Life's too short!!!

A new home

2005-09-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

So, in case you were wondering why I haven't posted... we moved! I finally have a half-decent commute, plus a bigger apartment and a walk-in closet. Honey has a shorter commute, too. We packed up the truck on Friday and moved on Saturday, and we did it all ourselves (and if you live within 40 miles of here, shame on you that you didn't come help). It's been really hectic and tiresome, but hopefully things can start to settle down now.
Come visit!!!

Mixed bag

2005-09-12T20:55:00.000-05:00

News on the musical front: I got a call over the weekend from Choir No. 1 (the audition I posted about a couple of days ago). They have no open spots in the regular chorus, but offered me a spot in the symphonic chorus, which sings with the local (I should say, a major) symphony orchestra in the spring and summer. They also said they will call if something opens up along the way (although I am not holding my breath for that).
I was fairly excited about that, thinking I get to stick with Choir No. 2 until the rehearsals start for the symphonic chorus in May. I sang with No. 2 last year and had quite a good audition on Thursday, I thought. They are in a growing stage right now and I didn't think the conductor (with whom I enjoy a warm personal relationship) would want to part with a trained musician. Turns out I was wrong.
I got an e-mail from her today in which she essentially said that my voice is not what she is looking for. She thinks I'm having major technical issues. Even though she had been dropping hints about this, it kind of came as a shock to me that she actually doesn't want me back. I know I have some things to work out (who doesn't?) but not to the degree that they would affect my blend with the group. Plus, I just spent a week on scholarship at a major choral festival, for heaven's sake. It's not like I am suddenly a croaky frog.
Initially, I didn't feel nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be. Part of it is that Choir No. 1 called, and even though I don't get to sing with them just yet, it's a boost to my ego, seeing as how they are more of a professional level choir than No. 2. Part of it is that last season was not up to the level that I had become accustomed to singing at, so I had obviously given some thought to leaving.
Still, it does not feel good when someone tells me that they don't want my voice. Especially someone whom I respect and whose opinion I value (although on this particular issue, I have to respectfully disagree).
Oh well. So I guess the auditioning season is not over for me yet. It is still early in the season and I am sending out some e-mails and making some phone calls to see if other choruses are still holding auditions. Worst comes to worst, I sit back for a semester and wait for the mid-season round of auditions in January.
Now to find a voice teacher...

Good Day

2005-09-06T21:07:00.000-05:00

In spite of a three-hour commute and an 8-hour workday with no lunch, I had a pretty good day today. Got to spend some time with honey on the way to work (I dropped him off on the way), a friend got married (I couldn't be there physically, but I sent good vibes), I was very productive at work and had some fun in the process, and then drove to an audition. I really should have been late but wasn't, I arrived just in time for my appointment, plus the conductor was running about a half hour late. That gave me time to fill out my form, compose myself, run back to the car to get my music (silly me), run to the ladies' room, and compose myself some more. The audition itself went quite well, I thought (especially compared to my last one!). Did my signature song, which gave me more trouble than usual (nerves!) but the room was very live and forgiving so I think I was the only one who could tell. The prepared piece went well (I actually practiced yesterday!). Had some interval memory, that went well, only the whole-tone scale gave me trouble (kept going flat at the top). Skipped the first two exercises of sightreading that were on the sheet, he only asked me to do the last one, which was not too hard. Now, the sightsinging is what usually kills me in auditions, because I get nervous and lose my focus, and one can't sightread like that. Tonight I did something I rarely do in auditions, I used solfege syllables for most of it, and it really helped. I went astray a couple of times at the predictable spots (darn accidentals) but got straight back on the horse and went on to finish the rest of the exercise fine. Vocalizing was fine. He says they don't have a lot of open spots but he'll let me know either way by Thursday, which is when I am scheduled to re-audition for the choir I sang in last year. So, who knows? At least I feel like I did better, I got some coping strategies (Thanks, Kyle!) and we'll see what happens.
Fingers crossed!

On New Orleans

2005-09-03T08:04:00.000-05:00

I thought it was just me, that I have grown cynical beyond belief, that I finally have become the foreign-born, raging liberal that televangelists warn their flocks about. But it turns out that I am not the only one who, when looking at pictures of the devastation in the city of New Orleans, has been outraged at the idea that thousands of people, mostly poor, black folk, have been stranded for days in hellish conditions while the federal government drags its feet. From people at work, to friends on the phone, to the New York Times, many people in this country and around the world have reached the same conclusions: first, that it is unbelievable that no transportation was provided for the evacuation of the people who did not have the means to leave the city on their own, before the storm even hit (people who, incidentally, lived in the lowest parts of the city and therefore where most likely to be affected in the event of flooding); then, after the storm hit and the levees broke, that it is unacceptable that it took three days for the military to be actually sent into the city for relief operations; that it is outrageous that people were allowed to die as they waited for rescue, and that it is unfortunate, if predictable, that stereotypes of African Americans flooded the media, making middle-class white Americans uncomfortably aware of how much they usually ignore the fact that these people even exist. Certainly it is true that Katrina stormed over white and black, poor and rich alike; that all have lost homes, jobs, and even family members. But those with cars, savings, insurance and education had the means to leave the city before the storm and will have the means later to rebuild their lives. Others, obviously, are not so fortunate, and evidently they will have no choice but to fend for themselves.
On the positive side, it has to be encouraging that righteous anger arose on all sides; that it wasn't just the NAACP pointing fingers, and that even the president was forced to acknowledge that the response was way too slow. Has this country finally reached the point where all can agree that inequality still exists and must be dealt with vigorously? Or will the national conscience recede into oblivion with the flood waters, leaving the poor to stew in the toxic residue that remains?
We can hope.

Buenas Noticias, Malas Noticias 2

2005-09-03T07:20:00.000-05:00

Había estado evitando el tema, más que nada porque no quería admitírmelo a mí misma, pero ha llegado el momento de enfrentar la realidad...
Primero, la buena noticia: por primera vez en mi vida (sí, ya sé que es vergonzoso, a mi edad) tengo trabajo permanente de tiempo completo. En la tienda donde trabajo hubo un reordenamiento de personal y me han dado un ascenso. Lo que significa que por fin podremos empezar a pagar nuestras múltiples deudas, ahorrar un poco, y no tener que estarme preocupando por cómo vamos a pagar la renta del mes. Más que nada, podré volver a tomar clases de canto y pagar audiciones y todas esas cosas que no he podido hacer por falta de dinero.
La mala... que la compañía solamente da dos semanas de vacaciones al año, así que no podré ir a México sino hasta después de Navidad y aún entonces no por tanto tiempo como yo quisiera.
Ahora bien, para aquéllos que no conocen el dolor de la nostalgia por el país natal, supongo que suena extraño o hasta cursi el calificar esto de mala noticia. Es difícil explicar este sentimiento; es como la primera vez que pasaste varios días lejos de tus papás, o como estar lejos de la persona amada. En parte supongo que mi nostalgia de México está hecha de extrañar a mis amigos, mi madre, y hasta mis primos y otros parientes (aunque no vivan en el DF). Otra parte está hecha de la ciudad misma, los lugares familiares, los recuerdos de la infancia. Y luego están las cosas más mundanas, tal vez: la comida, el idioma, la música en el radio.
Pero todavía hay algo más, un sentimiento indefinible que es lo que yo supongo que sienten los salmones que los hace nadar kilómetros y kilómetros contra corriente para volver al lugar donde nacieron; lo que sienten las mariposas monarca que las hacen volar cientos de kilómetros para volver al lugar donde nacieron. Es un sentimiento que la mente racionaliza: debe ser inventado, o inculcado en las clases de civismo, o algo así. Pero sea como fuere, en el alma es un sentimiento real, mezcla de pérdida y añoranza; es el sentimiento que me lleva a malos restaurantes dizque mexicanos, o a escuchar en el radio por internet canciones pésimas de Thalía y Christian Castro.
No me quejo de estar en donde estoy, a fin de cuentas nadie me tiene aquí a la fuerza. Pero me queda claro que mi situación no puede ser permanente; no pretendo vivir en este país por el resto de mi vida. En cierto momento, se dará la oportunidad de volver y la tomaré con gratitud. Entretanto, me siento agradecida de que por fin mis finanzas estén en vías de recuperación.

I had been avoiding the subject, more than anything because I did not want to admit it to myself, but the moment has arrived for facing reality... First, the good news: for the first time in my life (yes, I know that it's shameful, at my age) I have a permanent, full-time job. In the store where I work there's been a personnel reorganization and they have given me a promotion. What this means is that finally we will be able to begin paying down our multiple debts, to save a little, and not to have to worry about how we are going to pay the rent for the month. Moreover, I will be able to take voice lessons and pay for auditions and all those things that I have not been able to do for lack of money. The bad news... is that the company only gives two weeks of vacation per year, so I will not be able to go to Mexico until after Christmas and even then not for as much time as I wanted. Now, for those who don't know the pain of nostalgia for their native country, I suppose it sounds strange or even silly to describe this as bad news. It is difficult to explain this feeling; it's like the first time you spent several days away from your parents, or like being far from the person you love. Partly I suppose that my nostalgia of Mexico is made up of missing my friends, my mother, and even my cousins and other relatives (although they do not live in the city). Another part is made up of the city itself, the familiar places, the memories of childhood. And then there are the more mundane things, perhaps: the food, the language, the music on the radio. But still there is something more, an indefinable feeling that is what I suppose salmon feel that makes them swim for miles against the current to return to the place where they were born; what the monarch butterflies feel that makes them fly hundreds of miles to return to the place where they were born. It is a feeling that the mind rationalizes: it must be invented, or inculcated in civics classes, or something like that. But be that as it may, in the soul it is a real feeling, a mixture of loss and longing; it is the feeling that drives me to bad so-called Mexican restaurants, or to listening to terrible songs by Thalía and Christian Castro on internet radio. I do not complain about being where I am; after all nobody has me here by force. But it is clear to me that my situation cannot be permanent: I do not intend to live in this country for the rest of my life. At a certain point, the opportunity will arise to return and I will take it with gratitude. Meanwhile, I feel thankful that finally my finances are on the way to recovery.

Audition Schmaudition

2005-08-23T22:10:00.000-05:00

Went to the first of several auditions I have planned for the next couple of weeks... I only found out about this one on Sunday night, so I didn't have enough time to really prepare... I got really nervous and made a lot of stupid mistakes I wouldn't normally make, so I'm not holding my breath for their call. Worst of all, I auditioned for this choir three years ago and it didn't go well either, so the guy must think I'm a total idiot. Oh well.
I plan to do a lot of auditioning this year, so I better get used to disappointment. Or better yet, I should remember that a few months after that horrible audition three years ago I auditioned for CASP in Philly and it went so well the conductor accepted me on the spot. So, you win some, you lose some.
Either way, life's too short for regret. Better see what I can take away from this experience:
1) I warmed up just enough (not too much, not too little), so vocally I sounded fine.
2) My voice filled up the room better than 3 years ago, I think.
3) I need to remember the number one rule of audition repertoire: pick something you're 100% comfortable doing, so that you can do it decently even if you get nervous (which you will).
4) Need to practice sightsinging every day (or at least, every week) and not just right before an audition... Especially because I can do it fine, until I get nervous... Need to be cool under pressure!
5) Planned extra time to get to the audition site, so I wasn't rushed (good for me).
6) I need to remember not to beat myself up for every little thing... This business is hard enought as it is, I don't need extra demotivaiton.
Bottom line: You gotta take risks in life, and sometimes they don't go well. But one has to keep trying!

Hunting season is over...

2005-08-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

... we found an apartment! It is not either of the places I had talked about before, but rather secret answer C, a two bedroom apartment, bigger than we have now, with all the necessary appliances (a little old, but that's OK), a bay window and walk-in closet in the master bedroom, in a really nice, woodsy area. Best of all, it's pretty much exactly half-way between my job and honey's, which will cut his commute almost in half and mine by at least half. I only regret that I have to wait four weeks before we move in...
So... exactly one month left for packing... one of my FAVORITE things to do.. NOT!

Hispanos, Mexicanos, Mexico-Americanos

2005-08-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

In the news: two stories. The cover story for Time magazine this week is a list of the 25 Most Influential Hispanics in America. The list includes politicians, community activists, entertainers, and sportsmen, among others. The article preceding the list makes the astonishing pronouncement that "Hispanics promise to help remake America in the 21st century as vitally as African Americans did in the 20th." A lot to live up to.
The second story, from NPR, is a report on a recenty study that found Hispanics' opinions on issues such as illegal immigration vary widely depending on national origin, with foreign-born Hispanics tending to have a more supportive stance towards illegal immigrants than U.S.-born Hispanics. Moreover, it found that more than half of Mexicans would come to the United States if given the means and opportunity, including 35% of college-educated Mexicans.
What do these stories say to me? First, they both highlight an aspect of so-called Hispanic or Latino culture that escapes most white Americans: namely, that there is no such thing as a Hispanic culture. In other words, as the Time article points out, this is a group whose only commonality is language, and not even that (a poll organized by the magazine found that only 43% of Hispanic households in the U.S. actually have Spanish as the primary language, and only 23% are bilingual). The group of people that white Americans call "Hispanics" vary widely in race, class, national origin, political affiliation, and apparently, views on illegal immigration and its effects on U.S. life, as both these articles show; how else can the same list include both U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who found a way to make detainee abuse legal, and ACLU executive director Anthony Romero, who has spoken out against said abuse?
It comes as no surprise to me that even first-generation Hispanics have a less lenient view of illegal immigration than do immigrants. After all, the same happened to Irish immigrants and their American progeny in the 19th century. Mostly it does not surprise because so often Anglos lump the newly arrived with the rightful citizen and apply the brush of dangerous Otherness to all. (To quote the Puerto Ricans in West Side Story, "Once an immigrant, always an immigrant." Especially if you're any shade of brown.)
It also comes as no surprise that so many Mexicans would be willing to come to this country, even if they had to work below their level of education (something which is not only economically but also socially unacceptable in Mexico itself). The grass is always greener on the other side of the Rio Bravo. Particularly when viewed from the South.
Mostly what these articles point to, for me, is the bittersweetness of my own situation. I never thought longingly of the U.S., until I thought of going to college here. My college years were full of the nostalgia for the homeland. Then I got married to an American, and ended up staying. But I would go back in a heartbeat, if it were economically viable (ah, that's the rub, isn't it?). In the area of the country where I live, it is difficult to find other middle-class Hispanics to hang out with, and it can be very lonely. Many of those whom I have met don't speak much Spanish at all. I worry that my children (when and if I have them) won't, either. I worry that they will have little compassion or understanding for the plight of the immigrant, legal or not.
But I also read these articles and think, as I often do, of how entwined the destinies of my two homes have become, and how much closer they are likely to become in the years to come. Not much can be done to stop it. All we can do is hope that, in the 21st century, the relationship will remake both countries for the better.

En las noticias: dos historias. La portada de la revista Time esta semana es una lista de los 25 hispanos más influyentes de EEUU. La lista incluye políticos, activistas de la comunidad, actores y deportistas, entre otros. El artículo que precede la lista hace la asombrosa declaración de que "los hispanos prometen ayudar a rehacer a Estados Unidos en el siglo XXI tan vitalmente como los afro-americanos lo hicieron en el XX." ¡Qué expectativas! La segunda historia, de NPR, informa sobre un estudio reciente que encontró que las opiniones de los hispanos sobre cosas como la inmigración ilegal varían mucho dependiendo del origen nacional, con los hispanos extranjeros tendiendo a ser más comprensivos hacia los inmigrantes ilegales que los hispanos nacidos en EEUU. Por otra parte, el estudio encontró que más que la mitad de los mexicanos vendrían a los Estados Unidos si tuvieran manera y oportunidad, incluyendo a 35% de los mexicanos con estudios universitarios. ¿Qué me dicen a mí estas historias? Primero, destacan un aspecto de la supuesta cultura hispana o latina que la mayoría de los estadounidenses blancos no entiende: a saber, que no hay tal cultura hispana. Es decir, como dice el artículo de Time, éste es un grupo que solamente tiene en común el idioma, y ni eso (una encuesta organizada por Time encontró que solamente el 43% de familias hispanas en EEUU realmente tienen al español como lengua primaria, y solamente el 23% son bilingües). El grupo de gente al que los blancos llaman "hispanos" varía muchísomo en raza, clase, origen nacional, afiliación política, y al parecer, en sus opiniones sobre la inmigración ilegal y sus efectos sobre la vida en EEUU, como estos artículos demuestran; si no, ¿cómo puede la misma lista incluir al procurador Alberto Gonzales, que encontró la manera de hacer legal el abuso de los detenidos en la dizque guerra contra el terrorismo, y al director ejecutivo de la ACLU Anthony Romero, que se ha opuesto al mismo abuso? No me sorprende que incluso los hispanos de primera generación tengan una opinión menos compasiva de la inmigración ilegal que los inmigrantes. Después de todo, pasó lo mismo con los inmigrantes irlandeses y su progenie americana en el siglo XIX. Sobre todo no sorprende porque demasiado a menudo los Anglos juntan a los recién llegados con los ciudadanos legítimos y aplican el pincel del exotismo peligroso a todos (como dijeron los puertorriqueños en West Side Story, "el que una vez es inmigrante, siempre será inmigrante." Especialmente si se es aunque sea un poco morenito.) Tampoco me sorprende que tantos mexicanos estén dispuestos a venir a este país, incluso si tuvieran que trabajar debajo de su nivel de educación (algo que es inaceptable tanto económica como socialmente en el mismo México). La hierba siempre es más verde del otro lado del Río Bravo. Particularmente cuando está vista desde el sur. Lo que estos artículos me dicen a mí es más que nada lo agridulce de mi propia situación. Nunca pensé en venir a EEUU, hasta que se me ocurrió venir a la universidad. Mis años universitarios estuvieron llenos de nostalgia por la patria. Luego me casé con un estadounidense, y terminé quedándome. Pero me regresaría de volada si fuera económicamente viable (esa es la cosa, no?). En el área del país en donde vivo, es difícil encontrar a otros hispanos de clase media para hacer amigos, y llega a ser muy solitario esto. Muchos de los que he conocido prácticamente no hablan español. Me preocupa que mis hijos (cuando y si los tengo) no lo hablen, tampoco. Me preocupa que tengan poca compasión o entendimiento sobre los problemas del inmigrante, legal o no. Pero también leo estos artículos y pienso, como lo hago a menudo, en lo enredados que se han vuelto los destinos de mis dos hogares, y en cuánto más cercanos es probable que se hagan en el futuro. No se puede hacer mucho para evitarlo. Todo lo que podemos hacer es esperar que, en el siglo XXI, la relación rehará a ambos países para lo mejor.

Beautiful moment

2005-08-11T22:58:00.000-05:00

Parking at major league stadium: $10
Stadium hot dog and soda: $9.25
Ticket behind home plate: free (thanks to the generosity of friends)

Being somewhere other than work, lodging or the highway for a couple of hours: PRICELESS

Living the Gypsy Life

2005-08-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

Since last Friday I have spent a total of 24 hours in my own house, have been living out of a suitcase, and spent most of my time either at work or on the road. Tonight I'm staying with a coworker so I can have a shorter commute in the morning. Honey is gone for training for his new job until Saturday, so there was no point in going home. Tomorrow some company bigwigs are coming to visit my workplace and it has been really stressful getting everything together.
On the bright side, it looks like we may have found a nice place to live, half-way between my job and honey's job, in a really nice area. A little more expensive than I wanted, but still within reason. Going to apply on Friday, hopefully.
Beautiful moment today: Sitting in the car waiting for my coworker to get home, listening to a CD of soprano Angela Gheorgiu with the crickets chirping outside...

La vida es sueño

2005-08-07T10:09:00.000-05:00

Cualquiera que me conozca aunque sea un poco sabe que tengo los sueños más raros... Esta semana, creo que el lunes, soñé que estaba en una fiesta o algo así con muchos amigos de la prepa, y durante el sueño se me ocurrió, sin despertarme, que a lo mejor cuando uno está dormido el alma se va de viaje y se pone a buscar a la gente; que tal vez cuando soñamos con alguien, no es solo un sueño, sino que realmente nos hemos encontrado con esa persona en algún lugar.
Luego me desperté, y me quedé pensando que esa idea es muy reconfortante, a menos que se ponga uno a pensar en las pesadillas, en cuyo caso es una idea algo aterradora...

Shhh.. be very very quiet... apartment hunting

2005-08-07T09:53:00.000-05:00

Spent all day yesterday with honey looking at apartments. It was nice to spend some quality time together (we don't get to do that very often, sadly) but it was a long, tiresome day. The goal is to increase our quality of life, by reducing commuting time but also by finding a nice, comfortable, safe place that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Therein lies the rub, since the closer we get to my workplace the more expensive it gets, and closer to his workplace, although less expensive, provides little relief from my commute.
Bottom line: we found two places that are doable, if not perfect. Place A is closer to my job, has been recently remodeled, includes a washer and dryer and the staff seem friendly and helpful. Drawbacks: it's so expensive in that area that we could only afford a one-bedroom plus den, which to me feels like a very cramped space. Also the area is not particularly interesting, just miles and miles of apartments and strip malls. Place B is out of the way, has two bedrooms (so it's bigger), the rent is cheaper and it is next to a beautiful little bay inlet complete with dock and boats. Drawbacks: no washer and dryer, my commute would be close to an hour in good traffic, and the area is more rural, so even the grocery store looked to be a hike.
So, what to do? Honey likes place A better, and I like place B better, although I can certainly see his points. Either way we are going to be spending a lot more on rent than I had hoped, and either way we will be driving more in the horrid traffic than I would like. We can't even move until the end of next month anyway, so I am still wasting an inordinate amount of time on the road.
Blah...

First weekend i've had to myself in a while

2005-07-31T22:10:00.000-05:00

Didn't get much done, although I did do an unreasonable amount of instant messaging. Oh well. Gotta keep those contacts...
Spend another chunk of time looking for a new apartment. Can't wait to move, and have a reasonable commute again.

Beautiful moments: dinner and italian ice with honey last night, IMing with my cousin and with BCF people, turning a corner on the chapter I'm working on. Couple more days and I can send it to my advisor so he can rip it apart and set me back a couple of months. *bitter laugh*

Those of you who are reading this, should send me an e-mail to tell me how things are going in your lives!

Lo que mas extraño de Mexico

2005-07-29T23:10:00.000-05:00

1) Mis amigos
2) Mi madre
3) La comida (obvio)
4) El idioma
5) Saludarse de beso
6) Las luces de noche
7) El olor de la ciudad (con todo y smog)
8) Sanborns
9) Las jacarandas (sobre todo cuando florecen)
10) Los sonidos: el ropavejero, el afilador, el camión de los helados...

The things I miss the most about Mexico:
1) My friends
2) My mom
3) The food (obviously)
4) The language
5) The fact that people say hi and goodbye with a kiss on the cheek
6) The lights at night
7) The smell of the city (smog and all)
8) Sanborns (which is a chain of restaurants, but so much more)
9) The jacaranda trees (especially when they bloom)
10) The sounds: the guy who buys used clothing, the guy who sharpens knives, the ice-cream truck (all of whom have a different whistle or bell)

Beautiful Moments this past week

2005-07-29T23:06:00.000-05:00

- IMing with friends, new and old
- Double rainbow on the way home Wednesday (brightened my VERY LONG commute)
- Honey made lasagna, and I made honey dessert *wink*
- Schnittke's Concerto for Choir (brightened my EVEN LONGER commute today)

Rain

2005-07-25T09:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I was awoken in the middle of the night by a crazy thunderstorm.
It seems I brought some of the Massachussetts weather home with me.

My Top Ten Beautiful Moments This Past Week

2005-07-24T15:03:00.000-05:00

In no particular order:
1) Low-humidity days
2) Sugar-free apple pie
3) Walking back to the dorm in the moonlight
4) The concert at Tanglewood, gale and all
5) Fish lips and his dad
6) Singing at a masterclass and voice lesson (both of which went really well, if I may say so myself!)
7) Belly-dancing lessons
8) The Concert
9) The After-After Party
10) Meeting fabulously talented, funny and warm people (priceless!)

Why I haven't posted

2005-07-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

For the past week I have been in beautiful Western Massachussetts singing at a festival. So, between that, the new Harry Potter book, and trying to get some work done on the diss, I didn't have a lot of time for blogging, sorry. But I am back now (or as we music geeks say, I am Bach)...

Poem: On Why Real Boys Beat Fictional Boys

2005-07-21T07:11:00.000-05:00

No, lead me not
into the depths of your adventures
oh, sweet prince
For i must seek my delights among the living
Take not my hand
to pull me gently towards you
Look not
with eyes like emeralds
and implore
This eve i shall walk barefoot on the grass
let sunlight kiss my cheek
I shall enjoy the scent and sight of men
of pleasant countenance
They cannot give me what you can
--the thrill, the fear, the possibility--
but in the beauty of their voices
I find the blessed imperfection of reality

I shall return to you tonight
and many other nights

Today is only one

I won't forget
to live

Some of my guilty (and not so guilty) pleasures

2005-07-11T21:18:00.000-05:00

1. Harry Potter!!!
(the rest are in no particular order)
2. Celebrity gossip: I read People magazine while waiting on line at the grocery store register
3. Video games
4. Ice cream
5. McD's yogurt parfait
6. Chocolate
7. Geeky men
8. Long showers
9. The internet
10. Burritos (even *gulp* at Taco Bell)

Buenas Noticias, Malas Noticias

2005-07-11T21:07:00.000-05:00

La buena: la compañía de mi esposo por fin vio la luz, y le han dado un ascenso. Lo que significa que en cuanto se termine nuestro contrato en este departamento, nos podremos cambiar de casa, y así no tendré que manejar dos horas para llegar al trabajo... !!!
La mala: el mismo día, me avisaron que no voy a tener una clase que dar en la universidad este otoño. Así que por el momento estoy sin chamba de a de veras (la otra es nomás para pagar las cuentas). En fin, ya algo saldrá...

Good news: my husband's company has at last seen the light, and given him a promotion. Which means that as soon as our lease is up, we can move to a different apartment, and I won't have to drive two hours to get to work!!!
Bad news: on the same day, I got word that I won't have a class to teach at the college this fall. Which means that for now, I don't have a real job ( the other one is just to pay the bills). Anyway, something will come up...

Mi fin de semana...

2005-07-05T13:53:00.000-05:00

...fué de los largos (tuvimos puente por lo del 4 de julio) y nos la pasamos muy a gusto mi esposo y yo porque MILAGRO, nos tocó descansar los mismos días así que por fin nos pudimos ver, lo que fue un cambio muy placentero.
Eso sí, no hice ni la mitad de lo que tenía planeado para lo de mi tesis. No sé por qué, pero me resulta muy difícil trabajar cuando está él en la casa... bueno, sí sé por qué, es que prefiero echarla con él que hacer casi cualquier otra cosa, y especialmente ésa cosa...
Además, descubrí que una de las razones por las cuales no avanzo profesionalmente es porque me la paso alegando conmigo misma; una parte de mí quiere salir, viajar, hacer cosas interesantes, tomar riesgos, ir "a lo grande," etc. Otra parte quiere quedarse en casita, cómodamente, leyendo un libro y tomando tecitos. Por ejemplo este fin de semana tenía ganas de hacer dos cosas: ir a Philadelphia a ver el concierto de Live 8 el sábado, y ayer lunes ir a algún lado a escuchar algun concierto sinfónico con fuegos artificiales y demás. Pues, el sábado no fuí a Philadelphia porque mi esposo no tenía ganas de ir, y yo no quise ir sola, y el lunes no fuimos a ningún concierto porque... no sé, se me quitaron las ganas. Me quedé en mi casa leyendo un libro y luego fuí al super, y ya. Qué patéticamente aburrido, dirán ustedes, y tendrían razón.
La verdad es que la fuerza de la costumbre se vuelve cada vez más fuerte a medida de que vamos envejeciendo, y hay que rebelarse ante ella, pero a veces le falta a uno la energía para ello. Claro que después no me puedo quejar de que no avanzo en mi tesis porque tengo que trabajar (pobre de mí), o que no salgo porque mis amigos viven lejos (tendría que conseguirme más amigos cercanos), o qué se yo. Siempre hay alguna excusa, pero la verdad es que si las cosas no pasan es porque yo no me muevo del sofá para hacerlas que pasen.
¿Qué voy a hacer con este descubrimiento, revelación, u lo que sea? Quiero creer que voy a empezar a hacer un esfuerzo para dejar la comodidad y empezar a hacer las cosas que realmente quiero hacer; a fin de cuentas, todavía estoy muy joven como para darme por vencida. Quiero creer que mi parte emprendedora puede con mi parte floja.
Así que la próxima vez que les ponga alguna excusa para no salir, para no ir a la audición, para no trabajar en mi tesis, quiero que me digan algo, ¿bueno?

My weekend was a long one (we had Monday off because of the 4 of July) and my husband and I had a very nice time because behold! MIRACLE, we actually had the same days off so finally we got to see each other, which was a very pleasurable change. Of course, I didn't do half of what I had planned for my dissertation. I don't know why, but it's very difficult for me to work when he is in the house... well, yes I know why, it's because I prefer hanging out with him to almost anything else, and specially that thing...
In addition, I discovered that one of the reasons that I'm not advancing professionally is because I'm constantly arguing with myself; a part of me wants to go out, to travel, to do interesting things, to take risks, to "go for it," etc. Another part of me wants to stay home, comfortably, reading a book and drinking tea. For example this weekend I wanted to do two things: go to Philadelphia to see the Live 8 concert on Saturday, and on Monday go somewhere to listen to some symphonic concert with fireworks and whatnot. Well, I didn't go on Saturday to Philadelphia because my husband didn't feel like going, and I didn't want to go by myself, and Monday we didn't go to any concert because... I don't know, I lost interest in going. I stayed home, read a book, then went to the grocery store, and that's it. Pathetically boring, you might say, and you would be right.
The truth is that the force of habit becomes ever stronger as we age, and it is necessary to rebel against it, but sometimes one lacks the energy for it. Of course, I cannot complain later about how I don't make progress on my dissertation because I must work (poor me), or that I don't go out because my friends live far away (I should get some friends closer to me), or whatever. There is always some excuse, but the truth is that if things do not happen it's because I don't get up from the couch to make them happen.
What I am going to do with this discovery, revelation, or whatever it is? I want to believe that I am going to start making an effort to leave comfort behind and do the things that I really want to do; after all, I am still too young to give up on myself. I want to believe that my enterprising side can beat my lazy side.
So the next time that I make some excuse not to go out, not to go to an audition, not to work on my dissertation, I want you to call me on it, OK?

Round 2: La raza, otra vez

2005-07-02T10:56:00.000-05:00

Para que vean que no estaba inventando el otro día, cuando me eché mi rollo sobre el estado de las relaciones raciales en México, salió a relucir lo mismo con el asunto este de la estampilla de Memín Pingüín. Ahora bien, yo no recuerdo haber leído esta historieta nunca, y puede ser que como dicen los defensores de la susodicha estampilla, la historieta no muestre nada mas que el "cariño" de los mexicanos hacia los negros. Pero el solo hecho de hacer tales distinciones abre las posibilidades del racismo más o menos encubierto; después de todo, se nos olvida convenientemente que de las castas reconocidas en la época de la colonia, todas basadas en la raza, el esclavo negro era la más baja. Tampoco nos gusta acordarnos de que en la zona del Caribe mexicano hay muchos paisanos con sangre africana. El racismo no es nada más hacer burla o ejercer violencia directamente; simplemente es el reconocimento de que porque el otro es diferente a mí debe ser de tal o cual manera, y ante todo, el no poder relacionarse sin prejuicios, como iguales. Las actitudes condescendientes ("Ay que monos, si les tenemos mucho cariño) no son mejores que otras más ofensivas.
Por otra parte, los norteamericanos tampoco tendrían por qué ofenderse de tal manera. A fin de cuentas, los símbolos son una cosa y las realidades son otra. Pero las guerras culturales en este país cumplen su función cuando distraen a la gente de los verdaderos problemas con polémicas de poca consequencia (como ésta). No se trata de Speedy González contra Memín y a ver quién gana, sino de que las minorías siguen sin tener un trato equitativo en el mundo real.
Lo que más subraya este penoso incidente, tal como lo dice el señor Brooks de La Jornada (ver el link arriba) es la vasta diferencia que existe entre los dos países vecinos. Ni los norteamericanos entienden a México, ni viceversa. La integración económica es una cosa, pero la cultural, no se ve ni un poquito cercana.

Just so you see that I was not making things up the other day, when I went into my soapbox on the state of racial relations in Mexico, the whole thing has come up now with this stamp of Memín Pingüín issue. Now, I don't remember ever reading this comic strip, and it's possible that as the defenders of the aforementioned stamp say, the comic strip does not show anything but the "affection" of Mexicans towards blacks. But the mere fact of making such distinctions opens the possibility of a more or less concealed racism; after all, we conveniently forget that among the castes recognized during colonial times, all based on race, the black slave was lowest. We also don't like to remember that in the Mexican Caribbean there are many countrymen with African blood. Racism is not only making fun or exerting violence directly; it is simply the belief that because the other person is different from me, he/she must be like this or that; and most of all, it is not being able to interact without prejudices, like equals. Patronizing attitudes ("Oh they're so cute, we have such affection for them") are not any better than more overtly offensive ones.
On the other hand, Americans need not take such offense. After all, symbols are one thing and realities are another. But the cultural wars in this country fulfill their function when they distract people from the true problems with controversies of little consequence (like this one). It's not about Speedy González against Memín and let's see who wins, but about the minorities continuing to lack an equitable treatment in the real world.
What this lamentable incident really emphasizes, as Mr. Brooks of La Jornada says (see the above link) is the vast difference that exists between the two neighboring countries. The Americans don't understand Mexico, nor vice versa. Economic integration is one thing, but cultural integration does not seem to be even a little bit close.

UPDATE: Nuevo artículo en La Jornada sobre este tema (y prometo ya después de esto, callarme).
New article on this subject (click on above link); I promise to shut up now.

Having a Life

2005-07-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

Again, sorry I have not posted recently. It so happens that this week I've seen 4 of my friends in three different occasions; it's as if I actually had a social life... But of course, one can't have a job, a dissertation, a husband, a social life, AND a blog....

Nuevamente, perdón por no haber escrito recientemente. Es que esta semana he visto a 4 de mis amig@s en tres ocasiones diferentes; hasta parece que tuviera vida social... Pero por supuesto, no se puede tener trabajo, tesis, marido, vida social y encima de todo un blog...

Ya de regreso

2005-06-27T22:11:00.000-05:00

Perdón por el retraso, es que tuve un fin de semana muy ocupado. El sábado estuve trabajando en lo de mi tesis, pero al final de varias horas simplemente me sentí como quien trata de correr en una alberca. Luego el viernes me fuí a Washington a pasar el día con unas amigas del doctorado.
Washington no me gusta tanto como Nueva York, pero tiene lo suyo. De entrada el metro es mucho más agradable, aunque las rutas no están muy bien planeadas. Caminamos hacia el monumento a Washington, donde hay en estos días un festival folklórico, y escuchamos a un grupo puertorriqueño. Estuvo bien, pero con tanto caminar y con los zapatos que llevaba terminé con los pies molidos.
Me dió mucho gusto ver a mis compañeras, pero siempre que vuelvo a ver la gente del doctorado me doy cuenta de que me falta mucho para ser como ell@s. Yo, por más que lo intento, no puedo pasarme ocho horas seguidas en la biblioteca (a menos que se me venga una fecha límite encima), o escribiendo. (Será por eso que todavía no termino la maldita cosa).
En fin, dicen que el viaje de mil millas comienza con un solo paso... no hay más que seguir caminando, aunque duelan los pies.

Sorry for the delay, I very had a very busy weekend. Saturday I worked on my thesis, but at the end of several hours I just felt like someone who has tried to run in a pool. Then on Friday I went to Washington to spend the day with friends from grad school.
I don't like Washington as much as New York, but it has its appeal. For starters the subway is much more pleasant, although the routes are not very well planned. We walked towards the mall, where there they are currently having a folkllife festival, and listened to a Puerto Rican group. It was nice, but what with all the walking and the shoes I was wearing I ended up with feet like raw hamburger.
I was really glad to see my classmates, but whenever I see grad school people again I realize I have a long way to go to be like them. For example, no matter how hard I try, I just cannot spend eight hours in a row in the library (unless there's a deadline coming up on me), or writing. (That must be why I still haven't finished the damn thing).
Anyway, they say that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step... there's nothing left but to keep walking, even if your feet hurt.

If you are feeling brave... click here

2005-06-24T23:18:00.000-05:00

Funny, heartbreaking, scary, thought-provoking. What is my secret, and why do I keep it?

A few reasons why I love my husband

2005-06-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

He goes out of his way to be with me.
He makes me laugh.
He does things for me without me having to ask.
He works hard for us.
He writes me poems.
He can talk about anything from sports to politics to the universal questions.
He allows me space to be an individual.
He smells good.
He thinks I am beautiful.
He's my best friend.

Algunas razonas por las que amo a mi esposo:
Hace grandes esfuerzos para estar conmigo.
Me hace reír.
Hace cosas por mí sin que tenga que pedírselo.
Trabaja mucho por nosotros.
Me escribe poemas.
Puede hablar de cualquier cosa, desde deportes hasta política, hasta las preguntas universales.
Me deja espacio para ser un individuo.
Huele bonito.
Piensa que soy hermosa.
Es mi mejor amigo.

Viva La Raza

2005-06-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

Two seemingly unrelated news items caught my attention today. In Mississipi, a white supremacist was convicted in a crime that happened over 40 years ago. Meanwhile, in Mexico, the EZLN has been issuing communiqués of an increasingly alarmed and alarming nature. What do these two things have in common? Race.
Both countries were founded and built upon fundamentally unequal racial and social systems, so it is not surprising that in modern times race continues to be a major issue. However, it is dealt with very differently in each place. In the United States in the last 15 or so years there has been a push to make several changes to race relations, such as replacing terms that could be offensive to some ("Black" or "Indian") for more "politically correct" ones ("African American" or "Native American"). Not that this is a bad thing; certainly language has a great deal of power to shape the world around us. However, it is clear that these changes have been largely cosmetic, never truly reaching to the depth of the real issues. The Mississippi case is a typical example: the jury convicted not on murder, which was the original charge, but on manslaughter, a lesser charge. Apparently the twelve jurors (9 white, 3 black) were unable to agree on whether or not the crimes had been premeditated. So the case is seen as sort of a mixed and imperfect example of the mixed and inperfect improvement on race relations in this country.
It is a widespread opinion in Mexico that the United States is a racist country, or at the very least, a country where many people are racists. This is undoubtedly true, but it is also true that it is easier to see the speck in your neighbor's eye than the log in your own eye. Mexicans (especially in the middle class) like to think of ourselves as enlightened people. But how many times have we passed the María begging on the street without even thinking about her? How many times have we judged people by how they talk, and what they wear? (¡Míralo, es un naco!) How many times have we made fun of the muchacha, because she talked in a decidedly Indian manner?
I have often tried to explain to people in the U.S. that in Mexico, we don't think in terms of race. We don't think in terms of skin color, necessarily. We think in terms of class. If you have the right education, and you dress a certain way, and you drive a certain car, and you live in a certain neighborhood, and you get a certain kind of career, you can go up the social ladder.
But is Mexico merely a classist society? Are we not also racist? Were legislators not racist, when they objected to the EZLN representatives taking the podium and addressing Congress four years ago? Were the people who committed the attrocities at Acteal not racist? Is the current government not racist, when they declare that Chiapas is fine and the indigenous rebellion is done and over with? And are we all not racist, when we forget that nothing really has changed for indigenous peoples in Chiapas and elsewhere?
I hope that there will not be a further rebellion. I hope there will not be civil war in Mexico. I also hope that Americans can learn to face their biases, instead of just covering them up with pretty words. But I also think that Americans are trying. Some are trying harder than others, but they are making an honest attempt to deal with ugly realities, past and present. And Mexicans should too.

Dos noticias aparentemente sin relación me llamaron la atención hoy. En Mississipi, un supremacista blanco fué condenado en un crimen que pasó hace más de 40 años. Entretanto, en México el EZLN ha estado mandando comunicados cada vez más alarmados y alarmantes. ¿Qué tienen en común estas dos cosas? La raza.
Ambos países fueron fundados y construídos sobre sistemas raciales y sociales fundamentalmente desiguales, así que no es sorprendente que en la época actual la raza sigue siendo un problema importante. Sin embargo, es un problema que se trata de manera muy diferente en cada lugar. En los Estados Unidos en los útlimos 15 años ha habido varios esfuerzos para cambiar las relaciones raciales, como el substituir los términos que pudieran ser ofensivos ("negro" o "indio") con otros más "políticamente correctos" ("afro-americano" o "nativo americano"). No es que esto sea malo; las palabras ciertamente tienen mucho poder para formar el mundo a nuestro alrededor. Sin embargo, está claro que estos cambios han sido en gran parte cosméticos, sin llegar en realidad al meollo del asunto. El caso de Mississippi es un ejemplo típico: el jurado no condenó en base al asesinato, que era la acusación original, sino al homicidio involuntario, un crimen menor. Los doce miembros del jurado (9 blancos, 3 negros) al parecer no pudieron ponerse de acuerdo sobre si el crimen había sido premeditado. Por lo tanto este caso se ha visto como un ejemplo desigual e imperfecto de la mejoras desiguales e imperfectas que ha habido en las relaciones raciales en este país.
Es opinión común en México que Estados Unidos es un país racista, o por lo menos, un país donde hay mucha gente racista. Esto es indudablemente cierto, pero también es cierto que es más fácil ver la paja en el ojo ajeno que la viga en el propio. A los mexicanos (especialmente en la clase media) nos gusta pensar que somos gente muy civilizada. ¿Pero cuántas veces hemos pasado a la María pidiendo en la calle sin pensar ni siquiera en ella? ¿Cuántas veces hemos juzgado a la gente por cómo habla y cómo se viste? (¡Míralo, es un naco!) ¿Cuántas veces nos hemos burlado de la muchacha, porque habla de una manera decididamente indígena?
Muchas veces he tratado de explicarle a la gente en EU que en México, no se piensa en términos de raza. No pensamos en términos de color de piel, necesariamente. Pensamos en términos de clase. Si tienes una buena educación, y te vistes de cierta manera, y manejas cierto tipo de carro, y vives en ciertas colonias, y tienes cierta clase de carrera, puedes subir la escala social. Pero México, ¿es simplemente una sociedad clasista? ¿No somos también racistas? ¿No fueron racistas los diputados y senadores, cuando se opusieron a que los representantes de EZLN tomaran el podium y se dirigieran al congreso hace cuatro años? ¿No era racista la gente que cometió las atrocidades en Acteal? ¿No es racista el gobierno actual, cuando declaran que Chiapas está muy bien y la rebelión indígena ya está terminada? ¿Y no seremos racistas todos, cuando nos olvidamos de que nada ha cambiado realmente para la gente indígena en Chiapas y en otros lugares?
Ojalá que no haya otra rebelión. Ojalá que no haya guerra civil en México. Ojalá también que los estadounidenses puedan aprender a enfrentar sus prejuicios, en vez de nomás encubrirlos con palabras bonitas. Pero también creo que los estadounidenses están haciendo un esfuerzo. Algunos más que otros, pero por lo menos están intentando honestamente enfrentar la fea realidad, del pasado y del presente. Y los mexicanos deberíamos hacer lo mismo.

On why I love/hate working in an electronics store...

2005-06-21T20:17:00.000-05:00

...where most of my coworkers are male techno-geeks in their twenties and thirties who act like ten-year-olds.

In the back of house:
Guy #1: "Check it out!" (Does high kick)
Guy #2: "Dude, that is so gay"
G1: "Well, let's see you do it! Come on!" (Indicates height with hand)
G2: "Fine!" (Kicks high. Falls on ass.)
G1: (Rolling on the Floor Laughing) "Awesome! Let's view the replay on the security camera!"
Me: (rolls eyes)

In the manager's office:
Manager#1: "Do you want the side view or the front view?" (Fast-forwards through security tape)
G1: "The front view! There it is!" (Rolling on the floor laughing) "Let's download this for posterity!"
(After 10 minute technical conversation about how to download the video)
G1: "Hey, Guy #3, let me borrow your digital camera!" (Records video from security monitor) "We should make a DVD of this!"
Manager #2: "Dude, totally"
Me: (To myself) "And I drove through two hours of traffic for this???"

Sueños

2005-06-21T20:11:00.000-05:00

Casi todas las noches sueño con algún amig@ de la prepa. Anoche: el tío, Pollo, Ricardo F. y ya no me acuerdo quién más... ¿Por qué será que mi subconsciente se acuerda de gente a la que en muchos casos no he visto ni tan siquiera he sabido de ell@s en muchísimo tiempo? No me pasa con los amigos de la universidad, por ejemplo. Será que, simplemente, algunas personas se vuelven parte de uno mismo, incluso cuando ya no están...

Un dia en la vida

2005-06-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

¿Qué hice hoy? Me levanté, me vestí, desayuné, salí de la casa a las ocho y cuarto, llegué al trabajo a las diez (sí, a las diez; son 155km de mi casa al trabajo), salí a las 7, llegué a mi casa al veinte para las 9, cené... y ya. No sé en qué momento mi vida se convirtió en una escena de la película Metropolis (si no la han visto, es buena...)
Momentos hermosos: la luna llena levantándose sobre las casas cuando venía de regreso, el atardecer de neón naranja, y tener a quien besar al abrir la puerta.
Mañana otra vez lo mismo... ¿algún día tendré un trabajo normal, y una casa, e hijos? Algún día...

What did I do today? Got up, got dressed, breakfast, out of the house by quarter after 8, got to work at ten (yes, ten; it's a 97 mi commute), left work at 7, got home at 20 till 9, dinner... and that's it. I don't know when my life became a scene out of Metropolis (if you haven't seen this movie, you should, it's good...)
Beautiful moments: full moon rising over houses as I was coming home, a neon orange sunset, and having someone to kiss when I opened the door.
Tomorrow more of the same... will I ever have a normal job, and a house, and kids? Someday...

In the Beginning...

2005-06-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

En inglés o en español, ése es el dilema... ya tiene tiempo que quería empezar a escribir un blog, pero no me podía decidir entre un idioma y el otro... Por fin decidí que el chiste es escribir, y el que no entienda que se ponga a estudiar (o que se compre un buen programa de traducción).
Voy a intentar a veces traducir yo misma, para que no haya confusiones, pero no puedo prometer que será siempre, ¿bueno?

In English or in Spanish, that is the question... I have been wanting to start a blog for some time, but I couldn't decide between one language or the other... At last I've decided that the point is to write, and whoever doesn't understand should go learn (or buy a good translation program).
Sometimes I will try to translate posts myself, just to avoid confusion, but I will not promise that it will be all the time, OK?